I don't know

Since Ngatimoti, I have traveled north to the Coromandel Peninsula once again. I spent the last two weeks at a Permaculture Design Workshop where I learned all about how to live sustainably and with as little impact as possible. Permaculture is a huge topic, so we only just scratched the surface of possibilities in a two weeks. To put it simply, permaculture is about finding ways for humans and the environments to exist and benefit from one another. I made great friends, Tom and Lein, who I hope to see again. After leaving the workshop, I came to Whitianga where I am now staying at the Freedom Farm. A wonderful group of people who have come together to practice and spread peace. They are truly an embassy of peace and i feel that I have always been a supporter- an ambassador of peace. I met an amazing man named Joshua, who I had heard much about over the last few months, and am inspired just by being around him. In my journal I wrote, "Joshua: intense light, massive presence but effortlessly flowing, navigating with ease. he walked right past the ticket man at an A's game- no questions asked- and tells me that kind of thing is easy. "what's really hard," he says," is mending a broken heart. that's tricky" somewhere i'm scared of him. he reminds me "our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond belief" he reflects the part of me that is pure love, greatness, hard work, and peace. But i don't like to look at that part of me. it demands full dedication, and yet i hesitate.
then this poem:

Who am I?
I am the boy who goes into town to but chips because I like that greasy, full feeling
I am the boy who didnt eat for 10 days and eats fruits and nuts
I am the boy who is shy around great musicians who are willing to share and teach
I am the boy who sings his heart song ont he corner of a city block.
I am the boy who needs a computer with internet to feel connected
I am the boy who plays guitar around a campfire and looks into others eyes and feels connected
I am the boy who needs the jarring stimulation of a hustling, bustling city to feel
I am the boy who sits quietly in the woods and feels at home
I am the boy who shrinks in fear
I am the boy who lives in greatness