The infamous question- Who am I?
There are so many idfferent parts of me interacting with each other, manifesting themselves into my current self/being/life/actions/existence. However, the concreteness of my conceptions of "I" and "me" is not as concrete as I once thought. At the sub-atomic level, particles are popping in and out of existence trillions of times per second. At the emotional level, I am constantly changing- experiencing the rising and passing sensations of happiness, sadness, enthusiasm, or negativity. On the geolgic scale, massive tectonic plates and oceans are constantly shifting and changing the landscape. So why develop craving or aversion to something that may or may not exist the next moment? As all of these things are changing, I find myself asking the question- what defines ME in all of this? my physical body? my mind? a thing called the soul? ability to make action or philosophical insight? Or is it simply the awareness of existence and presence of being alive- letting all of the parts inside of me blend there flavors together and sprout themselves through my ever-changing, growing, dying body? And as all of the unavoidable worlds collides into me, I embrace it all, expereince it all, and then generate my own reaction. The awareness of freedom is a very liberating thing. The knowledge that I am in-charge of myself is a powerful responsibility. As a person, I have the ability to take action as well as responsibility for the results.
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Who are you?
ReplyDeleteYou're Colby Accacian. One of my best friends in the entire world. I've known you for almost 5 years. I'm not saying I know exactly who you are, because I'm constantly surprised at your being. But then again, maybe that's who you are. You're the surprise. The ever-changing, spontaneous, adventure that took my life by force when I was 14, had braces, my hair was still parted in the center, I wore my hair in a ponytail constantly, I hated science, I was following everyone and anyone, molding myself into the person that my best friend at the time wanted me to be. You broke that trend. You made me believe in myself, have confidence, be my own person. I'm sorry, I've made this post about me now...haha
You're that guy. Colby. The being that I'm pretty sure I concocted from the depths of my imagination and I'm still not sure if you're completely real. You connect me and my life to something so far away, but our bond has really never weakened. I've said it many times before, we could have just stopped talking to each other and moved on in our lives. It would have been easier, I bet. But I'm glad we didn't. You're the reason I believe in fate, sir. You're the reason I became connected with the Earth. I love science and intend to make it my life, and have made it my life. Thank you. That's who you are to me.
Maybe that's the key, learning who you are to other people. Learning your importance in the world, feeling responsible, like you said. Maybe it's not so much about finding who you are as an individual, but about finding who you are in this great big (and growing) world. That's what matters, right? How you effect others, your place in a community, big or small. Face it. I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for you. And, with the fear of abandoning my modesty, I'm pretty sure its the same for you. I admire your desire to find your individual self. But maybe you should look, at the same time, at who you are in relation to other people. Not what other people think, because that shouldn't matter. But instead, your impact on their life, the role you play (and it may be many roles).
I'm rambling now. Sorry to take over your blog for a minute. I'm just questioning...giving you some food for thought.
Hey. Here's some more food for thought....SEE YOU SOON! Twice in a year. That's a record for us, eh?
Thanks for commenting Molly. I am so glad that I've inspired you to become your own person and not guide yourself by other's expectations. I agree that an important part of who we are is defined by the way we impact the world around us. My life would surley be different if I had not met you, and I am so glad I did. Your being so far away makes me realize that physical distance is not the only thing that defines existence. It's true that everything is connected.
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